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Saturday, December 30, 2017
The Power of Vulnerability
(Yes, my confessional is an international website where thousands of people read and–perhaps–groan at my pithy columns).
As I write my latest screed, I often wonder, Am I being too vulnerable? From discussing my frayed family (insert a wry Happy Holidays) to my smoldering anxiety, I divulge my biggest, baddest secrets to, well, everyone.
Despite my well-worn hesitation, the answer is a resounding no. In fact, maybe I should be a little more vulnerable.
Sure, there is an understandable tinge of embarrassment and anxiety when sharing my personal failings. There is a nagging sense that my brazen honesty could jeopardize my future employability. Perhaps a future employer will google “Matt Loeb” and discover my treasure trove of anxiety-soaked ruminations on obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression, and familial strife.
And that would be okay — even if I do have to subsist on Ramen noodles and saltine crackers for the indefinite future.
You see — there is power in our shared vulnerability.
In my columns, I touch on human foibles and failings. Specializing in self-doubt — with a touch of self-deprecation, there is an inherent relatability for many readers. Notwithstanding the occasional caustic email (“Your column was so insensitive”), most readers respond with an appreciative message. I struggle with the same paralyzing bouts of depression. …Geez, you summed up my family’s Thanksgiving. Can we just celebrate the holiday season to-go?
More than just commiserating over brutal family soirees, there is a sensitivity — even humanity — underlining our snark. For many of us — myself included, we shroud ourselves in secrecy when discussing difficult emotions and thoughts. It has taken me years to discuss my simmering sibling feuds with my beloved aunts and uncles. It can be equally distressing to broadcast my deepest emotional ebbs to the (Psych Central) world.
But as I have aged and wisened, I recognize there is fortune in misfortune. And power in, at times, feeling powerless. Sharing vulnerability — whether an emotional, physical, or spiritual hardship — strengthens our collective humility and self-awareness.
This truism is more than just a personal Mattism; influential leaders intuitively recognize the power of vulnerability. Starbucks CEO Howard Shultz,”The hardest thing about being a leader is demonstrating or showing vulnerability…When the leader demonstrates vulnerability and sensibility and brings people together, the team wins.” Sharing vulnerability — from confiding to a friend to a therapist to a room of powerful CEOs — provides an opportunity to connect in meaningful, authentic ways. This emotional connection results in mutually beneficial outcomes; research corroborates that we are more likely to act inclusively and compassionately toward others after learning of their personal hardship.
As winter unleashes its ugly wrath. I understand the temptation to retreat into a depressive cocoon of self isolation — and self-flagellation. The holiday season can be particularly challenging — even more so if familial relationships chill. But there is power in our own narrative — even if our pockmarked story doesn’t match our peers’ sparkling narratives.
The real winter chill: concealing your own vulnerability. And not letting anyone else read your book — or, tongue in cheek, Psych Central column.
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The Surprising Sexuality of (Male) Gamers
The modern stereotype of people who frequently play video games needs to finally be put to rest. Gamers, as they’re known, are actually not losers residing in their parents’ basement, but rather people from all different kinds of backgrounds who enjoy the entertainment value that spending time playing video games affords.
Along with that stereotype is the belief that gamers’ sexuality must also be less than ideal. Losers in basements can’t have a healthy, positive sex life, right?
Let’s find out…
Research published earlier this year explored the sexual health of male gamers. As the researchers (Sansone et al., 2017) of the current study note, “Videogame use has been associated with improvements in cognitive functions, with improvements in specific intellectual fields according to different game types, such as working memory, processing speed, and executive functions. This ‘brain training’ seems to have positive influences on and, in some cases, preventing obesity and ensuring a correct lifestyle.”
So the researchers wanted to explore gamer’s sexual health as well. In the present study, they did this through the administration of two scientific research questionnaires, the Premature Ejaculation Diagnostic Tool (PEDT) and the International Index of Erectile Function (IIEF-15) online. Researchers also asked the men (ages 18 through 50) to provide additional information about their lifestyle and living habits, as well as their gaming habits.
In all, 599 men answered the call to complete the surveys, but 199 of those men had no sexual activity during the previous four weeks, so the researchers didn’t examine their data. In all, the scientists analyzed data from 396 survey respondents and classified them into two groups — gamers (who averaged at least 1 hour per day playing video games) and non-gamers (who averaged less than 1 hour per day playing video games).
Compared to non-gamers, the researchers found that gamers were less interested in sex — their sexual desire was significantly less. However, gamers were less likely to suffer from premature ejaculation when they did have sex.
Gamers Less Likely to Have Premature Ejaculation, Sexual Desire
The clearly good news based on this self-reporting survey research is that gamers say they have less premature ejaculation than their less-gaming counterparts.
What about the lesser sexual desire reported by gamers? After all, most people might say, “Hey, loss of sexual desire is a bad thing.”
But remember, we’re talking only about men here… Men typically appear to have a higher level of sexual desire than women (although that may be just due to men being more vocal about their sexual needs than women in many relationships). So maybe having a slightly lower level of sexual desire may not be such a bad thing — it really depends on the specific relationship.
How do the researchers explain the possible mechanism at work here?
…[T]he ‘reward system’ of videogames might affect the dopaminergic system; as previously described, dopamine levels increase while gaming. The dopaminergic system also is involved in facilitating orgasm and ejaculation, and dopamine acts as the most important ‘pleasure hormone,’ with an excitatory role in intercourse. D1 receptors, because of their decreased affinity, are activated only during dopamine peaks, in contrast to D2 receptors, which are activated by a slow, progressive release of dopamine. Gaming, as a source of repeated dopamine peaks, might lead to an enhanced steady-state homeostasis and to decreased activation of receptors given the same levels of dopamine; this might cause tolerance in the ejaculatory reflex and a decreased interest in intercourse, providing an explanation to our results.
I think that’s a possible, reasonable explanation, since gaming is intrinsically rewarding (otherwise people wouldn’t be doing it so often). And it would also neatly explain why there’s lesser sexual desire in gamers.
Keep in mind, this is apparently the first observational study that’s investigated this link directly. More research is needed to confirm these results.
But the results are surprising, in that gamers are not the obvious sexual losers the traditional societal stereotype makes them out to be. In fact, if you’re a person looking for a partner who doesn’t suffer from premature ejaculation and isn’t always bugging you for sex, a gamer may be just the ticket.
References
Sansone A, Sansone M, Proietti M, Ciocca G, Lenzi A, Jannini EA, Romanelli F. (2017). Relationship Between Use of Videogames and Sexual Health in Adult Males. J Sex Med., 14, 898-903. doi: 10.1016/j.jsxm.2017.05.001.
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Total Wildness: Peaches And Dan Deacon Ignite Norður Og Niður
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The Saddest Thing About How Men View Their Own Depression
Try reaching out with even the simplest question like ‘How are you doing?’
People are generally compassionate and understanding about people with depression or those who are suicidal.
But, men who are depressed themselves often view their own problems very negatively, new research finds.
Men who are depressed can see themselves as a disappointment and a burden to others.
The results come from a survey of 901 men and women in Canada.
Professor John Oliffe, an expert on men’s health who co-led the study, said:
“While it was reassuring to find that Canadians in general don’t stigmatize male depression or suicide, it was concerning that the men with depression or suicidal thoughts felt a strong stigma around their condition, and many were afraid of being discovered.”
Unfortunately the sense of anxiety and fear that surrounds depression can stop people — and men especially — from seeking help.
Professor John Ogrodniczuk, the study’s other co-lead, said:
“Social isolation is one of the biggest risk factors for male suicide.
By reaching out, even with a simple question like ‘how are you doing?’ or offering to do something together, such as taking in a game, we can help reduce the risk of self-harm.”
The study was funded by the Movember Foundation, a global charity aimed at raising awareness about men’s health.
Jesse Hayman, Director of Community Engagement at Movember Canada, said:
“We’re looking at the issue of mental health through the male lens to ensure that the programs we fund and support are tailored towards men.
Our goal is to help men live happier, healthier, longer lives, and this study supports the importance of helping men stay socially connected, so that they feel they have the support they need.”
The study was published in the Community Mental Health Journal (Oliffe et al., 2016).
Depressed man image from Shutterstock
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Intensive PTSD Treatment for Veterans May Reduce Violence
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) has been associated with violent behavior, particularly among military personnel who have returned from combat. But little is known about whether intensive PTSD treatments might be able to reduce such violent behavior.
In a new study, researchers from the Department of Psychiatry at Yale University analyzed the data of more than 35,000 U.S. military veterans who had been treated in specialized intensive Veterans Health Administration (VHA) PTSD programs.
The researchers analyzed the veterans’ sociodemographic and biographical information, program participation, and clinical factors such as PTSD symptom severity and substance use. Information was collected at program entry and again four months after discharge. Violence was assessed by a self-report measure that addressed property damage, threatening behavior and physical assault.
The findings, published online in the journal Psychiatric Services, show that combat veterans diagnosed with PTSD had a significant reduction in violent behavior during the PTSD program; the reduction lasted through four months after discharge.
In particular, veterans with PTSD who reported the most violent behavior at baseline showed the greatest reductions four months after discharge. The drop in violence strongly correlated with reductions in the veterans’ PTSD symptoms and substance use, rather than with their incarceration history or other sociodemographic and biographical variables.
The researchers noted that although an observational study is unable to identify the specific causes of reductions in violent behavior, the findings suggest that the short-term support, shelter, and asylum that formed part of intensive treatment may have contributed to the reduction in violent behavior. Such services may play a vital role in the spectrum of care for patients with combat-related PTSD.
According to the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, the number of veterans with PTSD varies by service era: Among veterans of Operations Iraqi Freedom and Enduring Freedom, about 11-20 out of every 100 (between 11-20 percent) have PTSD in a given year.
Among veterans of the Gulf War (Desert Storm), about 12 of every 100 (12 percent) have PTSD. Among Vietnam veterans, around 15 in 100 (15 percent) were diagnosed with PTSD at the time of the most recent study in the late 1980s. However, it is estimated that about 30 of every 100 (30 percent) of Vietnam veterans have had PTSD in their lifetime.
Symptoms of PTSD include recurring memories or nightmares of the traumatic event, anxiety, aggression, sleeplessness, loss of interest, and feelings of numbness, anger or irritability, or being constantly on guard.
Source: Yale School of Medicine
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